After tonight ’s MegaMillions lottery drawing , someone could be walking away $ 636 million deep . The odds of advance , however , are less beguiling : 1 - to-259,000,000 . But that doesn’tmean it ’s not a good investiture ! Someone , somewhere , someday is plausibly going to become disgustingly plenteous . And that disgusting somebody could be you !
But it probably wo n’t be . This preceding October , the MegaMillions power that be decided to changethe betting odds of pull ahead the drawing — and not in our favor . So to make you experience better ( or you eff , worse ) , here are some matter more potential to fall out to you than winning tonight ’s pot :
Diagnosed With piles : 25 - to-1
Being a ( Male Aged 25 - 44 ) Virgin : 35 - to-1
fly With a Drunk Pilot : 117 - to-1
Houston Astros Win the World Series : 200 - to-1
Being deem Possessed by Satan : 7,000 - to-1
Bowling a Perfect 300 : 11,500 - to-1
Dating a Supermodel : 88,000 - to-1
Dying From Choking on Food : 370,035 - to-1
expunge by Lightning : 576,000 - to-1
Dying From Coming in middleman With Hot Tap Water : 5,005,564 - to-1
Being Canonized : 20,000,000 - to-1
Being Crushed to Death by a Vending political machine : 112,000,000 - to-1
But do n’t heed to us ; go properly forwards and bribe your slate – you never know ! Just deliver in intellect that , compared to win , you ’re nearly twice as probable to pass on this globe with an obituary that reads , “ He died doing what he loved , being smothered by Cheetos . ”
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